Teaching Special Needs Children

WHAT SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN HAVE TAUGHT ME

By Alicia Chilcote, March 5, 2008

I have learned many of life’s lessons from small children. I have been blessed to be able to work with special needs children for a period of ten years. These children were disabled in various way or moderately mentally delayed. I worked as a paraeducator along with occupational therapists, physical therapists and teachers to implement programs designed to help children adjust to or overcome their disabilities. These were children with spina bifida, cerebral palsy, autism, mall seizures, nerve damage and accidents. I worked on a variety of programs that were specialized for each child. Most of my time spent was 1 on 1 with them. Sometimes it was the only time an adult spent that much time and attention with them. These children have opened my eyes to a whole new world and taught me something I could have learned no other way than through serving and working with them. Many of my days ended leaving me mentally and physically exhausted.

I have learned to see through a child’s eyes – their hurts, their frustrations, and their struggles. Children can become discouraged, insecure and sad. They depend on adults to balance their world and keep them safe. There are many times when adults that are closest to them let them down.

I have learned there are only so many things I can do for a child. The child must do the work themselves and have a desire to succeed. They are motivated by their accomplishments. Miranda was a 7 year old girl who was born with Cerebral Palsy and when she was three she was twirling around and lost her balance falling into a campfire and burning her hands, arms and legs very badly. This accident caused Miranda to have skin grafts on several parts of her body. The grafts are like scar tissue and are very hard. Her hands needed to be massaged daily to help them be more useful. She had to exercise and work on balancing techniques daily. She had had several surgeries and there always seemed to be just one more. Miranda lived with her grandmother most of the time. Sometimes she lived with her mom and other times with her dad. She would often say to me, “I wish you were my mother, can I go home with you?” I felt heavy hearted as I had to tell her she could not go home with me. Her home life was lacking many of the healthy conditions that she deserved.

I have learned that some autistic children can be calmed when you apply pressure to their body in a quiet reassuring way. I learned to talk quietly and reassuringly to Joe when he was scared or upset. Joe was a kindergarten boy and if he was the least bit upset he would shake his hands wildly and yell. He responded well to a quiet area.

I have learned that children, especially disadvantaged children are freed from pride. They join in activities in the classroom and innocently look beyond their inadequacies. Dereka, a small framed girl in second grade, needed attention with her hygiene and we would work together combing and putting clips and bows in her thin blonde hair. When we completed styling her hair her countenance would change and she would hold her head high as if she were a proud poodle that had just been trimmed and bathed.

I have learned that children without arms can still enjoy life. They can be happy. They can enjoy friends, family and learning. Wyatt was a first grader and had no arms which made it difficult for him to write, type or go the bathroom without help. He had flippers where his arms would have been. There were three fingers on the right shoulder so he was able to improvise somewhat with writing and typing. One day I was pulling into the parking lot at the store and I saw Wyatt pushing his nose tightly against the window of his family van as he revealed a bright broad smile on his face. When he saw me looking at him he frantically waved his flipper like hands. It made me smile and I waved back with equal enthusiasm.

I have learned to be thankful for my own body and the perfect bodies of my children and grandchildren. I thank Heavenly Father frequently for perfectly formed children and grandchildren.

I have learned that life is not always fair. So many children have more than one challenge in their lives. These children have to struggle with disabilities and multiple other issues. I have learned to emphasize the abilities they do have and encourage them to be thankful for their strengths.

I have learned to love children for who they are and not who I want them to be. I have watched them struggle with simple tasks. I have watched them find joy in their simple accomplishments. I have learned that I can apply these same principles to myself.

I have learned to have patience while a child attempts a task that must be practiced over and over again before they succeed. It can be something as simple as practicing jumping a rope. It is a skill that is very difficult for most of these children. My patience grows thin at times and I have to remind myself how much effort these tasks take for “special needs children.” In many ways we each have “special needs.”

I have learned that change is very often slow and methodical. I have learned to appreciate the journey of seeing a child make small changes in their healing process. Heather has burns on her hands, arms and face which she endured as a 3 year old in a house fire. Working with her has taught me additional compassion for a child’s struggles. Heather cannot hold a pencil very well or type and her face is disfigured. In spite of her challenges she smiles and still tries to learn verbally to do her school work and learn the lessons that her school mates perform so easily.

I have learned that Heavenly Father gives a special blessing to the children who struggle with burns, crippled fingers, weak legs and other various injuries. They are blessed with a sweet innocent faith and a passion for life. They are blessed to enjoy the help of their school chums. They are excited to have teachers and friends who care about them. They are not afraid to make their needs known to others.

I have learned that working with children with special needs helps me recognize my own blessings. When I feel discouraged I think of how sweet and hopeful these children can be. They inspire me to do better.

In the scriptures we are encouraged over and over to “become as little children”. I am more convinced than ever that becoming childlike is a sure way to becoming a better adult. In Mosiah 3:19, we read… “become as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

I have learned that “Special Needs Children” fulfill that scripture. They are blessed by and loved by the Lord. They are His “Special Children.”